I gave them various things but for Javiercito I gave him a collection of American toys that my sister had sent me back in February.

Included in this collection was FLARP!

If you are not familiar with FLARP! it is basically a type of putty that has the consistency between silly putty and a more durable slime. And within it’s container you basically get air in the jar and when you push the putty into it, it makes fart sounds.

Now I realize that this isn’t the most sophisticated of gifts. But hey I still think flatulence is funny. I can remember late one night in my house on a new year’s eve when my friends and I were sitting in the living room passing around the FLARP!, we couldn’t stop laughing.

Anyway. The whole family loved it. We were sitting around after dinner cracking up. Even Grandma Flori was getting into the act. I hope that they are entertained for weeks.

Usually you can get this in the toy aisle of your local Walgreens for about $3.

Click here for English

Estas son las cosas que yo voy a recordar de mi viaje en Xela: Estando de pie en la calle con mis bolsas mi primera noche esperando para mis padres, caminando a la escuela mi primera vez, conociendo Kristina durante orientación, montando en el bus de pollo, sentando en el patio en la Finca Alianza, los borrachos durmiendo en los calles, el día que yo estuve muy enfermo, la primera vez yo comí pan con frijoles, los ojos locos de Víctor que el bato español en mi cabeza con amor, poniendo en la playa de Champerico, jugando ping pong en la escuela, visitando San Simón en Zunil, sintiendo me que mi español estuvo creciendo, mi primera vez al Lago Atitlan, estando en el techo del hotel en Panahachel con amigos, constantamente levantando mi dedo pequeno en mi mano para Jaime y Luis, las fiestas de navidad y año nuevo con mi familia, caminando en la ciudad buscando nueva cosas, bebiendo el café en la escuela, tomando un barca a Santiago, oyendo la risa de Anabella, sentando en mi favorito lugar Café Baviera, bailando en la escuela y la parranda, viendo la cultura indígena cada día, gritando “Helados” a mi familia todo el tiempo con Davis, el visto de la ciudad en el vía a Los Vajos, cenando con Olga y Magda, subiendo la carreterra a La Pedrera con Craig, hablando con mi amor en el jardín, viendo las caras de los niños cuando ellos comprended algo nuevo, saber que cada semana es una oportunidad conocer alguien nuevo, jugando fútbol con mi familia, dando besos para hola y adios, viendo los chuchos en las calles, caminando en las calles en la noches, haciendo tiempo especial con Gyuhee, Carol, and Natalie, teniendo amistad y amor en una cultura diferente que normal.

These are the things that I will remember of my trip in Xela: Standing in the street with my luggage my first night waiting for my parents, walking to the school for the first time, meeting Kristin during orientation, riding in chicken buses, sitting on the patio at Finca Alianza, the drunks sleeping in the street, the day that I was very sick, the first time I ate bread with refried beans on it, the crazy eyes of Víctor as he beat spanish into my head with love, laying on the beach in Champerico, playing ping pong in the school, visiting San Simón in Zunil, feeling that my spanish was increasing, my first time at Lake Atitlan, being on the roof at my hotel in Panahachel with my friends, constantly raising my pinky finger for Jaime and Luis, parties at Christmas and New Year´s with my family, walking in the city finding new things, drinking coffee in the school, taking a boat to Santiago, listening to Anabella laugh, sitting in my favorite place Café Baviera, dancing in the school and at La Parranda, seeing the indigenous culture everyday, yelling “Helados” to my family all the time with Davis, the view of the city on the way to Los Vajos, dinner with Olga and Magdalena, climbing the road to La Pedrera with Craig, talking with my love Erlinda in the garden, seeing the faces of the kids when they learn something new, to know that every week is an opportunity to meet someone new, playing soccer with my family, giving kisses hello and goodbye, seeing the dogs in the street, walking in the streets at night, investing my time with Gyuhee, Carol, and Natalie, having friendship and love in a culture different than normal.

Here is the English translation:

Today is a sad day for me because I have been here for three months. When I came here I had a very basic level of Spanish. Now, I feel that I have much more confidence in my knowledge and ability to speak.

I would like to thank all of my teachers:

Lili, because she taught me to have latin rhythm for a white man.

General Don Victor, Salute!, because he taught me the word “seminude”.

Anabella, “OH MY BROTHER”, because with her I believed that my humor worked in Spanish also.

Luis, because he is a nerd like me.

Erika, because of her interesting stories.

And Claudia because of her profound conversations.

Thanks to all the people in the office. Especially Teresa because she permits me to work with the kids at La Pedrera. And, of course, my love, Erlinda, because she works very hard every day and has a lot of wisdom.

My time here has been very good. I have met many great people both Guatemalans and students also. And I have built a small community here in Xela, my home away from home. Thank you.

So then one of them said “¿Quieres ser mi novio?” and then they start giggling and ask me how do I say that in English, so I say “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”. Then they start laughing again.

Apparently one of the girls found it necessary to be getting drunk because her boyfriend broke up with her. And from what I got out of the conversation he was jealous because her and her friend were very hot. Of course you are. I’m surprised “We’re bringing sexy back” has not infiltrated the Spanish language. But I’m going to start it:

“¡Estoy trayendo sexy detrás!”

One of the girls knew a little bit of English, but this began a comical lesson for the brokenhearted woman on how to say vulgar things about her ex-boyfriend in English.

Definitely an exciting afternoon in the cafe!

The kids at the school have been incredible. Very respectful, welcoming, and willing to learn everyday. It is a wonderful heart warming feeling to see young faces light up as they realize they are learning and creating something new. It just fuels my want to teach again someday.

In my time here, we have learned different things in Word, Excel, Powerpoint, and web development. It is a completely different atmosphere because none of the kids have computers in their homes, so they are so excited and interested in what you have to teach them. Very different than in the US just because computers are so commonplace.

I see different kids in the street around the city and they are always coming up to me, shaking my hand, and wanting to talk. It’s great.

Theresa, the representative for the project at Casa Xelaju, has been climbing the hill everyday to assist the kids in their homework and learning for 12 years. She is a very special person and I’m glad that I have met her. She allowed me to teach the kids without restrictions and was very appreciative of all the time that I put in there.

For my last day we did some Powerpoint presentations where they learned how to animate text in their presentations. I had made print outs of all pictures for each student and gave the to them as gifts for the end of class. You would have thought it was like Christmas. They were so excited to get pictures of themselves.

Friday, Theresa called me into her office to talk about my time here, etc. and gave me cards that were made from many of the students, including drawings and little messages from them. A very special moment for me.

Royal Paris is located on the second floor of 14a Avenida and close to I believe 5 Calle. They serve many different kinds of food but are known for their french specialties and their sandwiches.

The last time I went there I had a delicious fried mozzarella and tomato sandwich.

At the time of this writing they are showing movies every Tuesday night free with your dinner. I went with friends to see Brokeback Mountain there (Yes Jimmy, I saw it again), around the untimely death of Heath Ledger.

All in all a great atmosphere and great food.

My rating: ¡Buen trabajo!

Last week my brain kind of hit the wall in regards to learning Spanish. The things that I had learned were all kind of mixing together and I was just having a hard time functioning. So I decided to take a week off and relax my brain. This is very normal for students to do, usually after 4 or 5 weeks students tend to take a brake. I did 10.

My week started off in an interesting fashion. I decided to go sit in the park, get some sun, and start reading a book (Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell). In this process a decent looking man came up to me and started taking. We were making polite conversation, and I was understanding most of it. He was asking me some questions and all I understood was something about the Internet. So I did my “Let’s guess what this guy is talking about in Spanish”. I attempted to tell him where some Internet cafes were, etc. Then he corrected me and said something to the effect of “Quieres” (you want), and “fotos”, and “sexo”. So I’m not sure if he was asking me if I wanted to do porn or if I wanted to go watch porn. To which I politely declined. But I’m glad to know those opportunities are available if need be (joke). It also makes me wonder what kind of vibra (vibe) I was giving off in my tank top and shorts.

Some students and I went to El Cuartito on Tuesday to play some RummiKub and drink some Mango Mojitos. Delicious. I need to learn how to make those.

Dogs here in Xela have some amazing loyalty. I see many of the same dogs around in the town, and unfortunately their health doesn’t always look the best. I especially see one chucho (mutt) all of the time around town and I walk by him all the time. He always travels around town and hangs out in many different stores and restaurants during the day. But every morning and every evening there he is laying in front of his owners house on the sidewalk. To be able to go wherever you want and yet still come back home everyday where you probably aren’t treated the best is an interesting trip into the psyche of a dog. His picture is above.

I had a few celebrity sightings this week. In my favorite cafe I saw the latin version of Colonel Sanders, and I’m pretty sure the Guatemalan Charles Manson. He was in the form of a crazy homeless guy without shoes. Pictures below.

My Dia Del Cariño (Valentine’s Day) was pretty uneventful. I had a date with two dudes (Davis and Max). We went to my favorite place, El Giardino, where I actually called and made a reservation earlier in the day. Not knowing the norms of Valentine’s Day here in the Guat I figured it would be like home where all restaurants are packed for that one day of the year where guys need to be reminded to treat their ladyfriends appropriately. Anyway, we arrived at the restaurant and it was completely empty. I was stupid enough to tell the waiter that I had a reservation. The guys didn’t let me live that one down the rest of the night.

It’s funny how when you are in a place for awhile, sometimes you forget to pay attention to your surroundings. I spent part of the day Thursday just walking around and taking pictures of Xela. The city, my school, and community have really grown on me. It has been a great trip and will be a sad day when my time is over.

Friday, the school had a pot luck dinner for Valentine’s Day where we all got together to eat, drink, and be merry. After a lot of laughs, the night ended with some students and Jaime (who works at the school) heading to Pool and Beer (yes, that’s its name) for some billiards and more good times.

Now I head back to school to continue to hone my craft of the language. Deseas suerte para mi!

I have found that in just about any music environment here in Guatemala, you can’t escape the institution that is La Bamba. It is everywhere.

So what is La Bamba? Well for one, it’s not the #5 combo at your local Mexican restaurant (or actually, it might be). Second, it’s a song. And thirdly, it’s a dance.

La Bamba was created in Mexico over 300 years ago and the lyrics vary quite a bit depending on where you are. Ritchie Valens made the song popular in the 1950s combining rock and roll with the traditional song. Valens, of course, died in an airplane crash and inspired the movie where the incomparable Lou Diamond Phillips played him.

Anyway…

The lyrics go something like this…

Spanish:

A para bailar La Bamba, A para bailar La Bamba, se neccesito, una poca de gracia. Una poca de gracia, y otra cosita.

Ay, arriba, arriba. Ay, arriba, arriba, arriba ire! Yo no soy marinero; por ti, sere.

English:

In order to dance La Bamba, In order to dance La Bamba, you need a little grace. A little grace, and a little something extra.

Hey! Jump, jump, jump we go! I am not a sailor; I will be (here) for you.

I have managed to put together a mix of the La Bamba videos that I have recorded here in Xela. Without further adieu here is La Bamba the remix:

Thinking about the song itself reminded me of one of my favorite stories that kinda, sorta has a bit to do with La Bamba:

A few years ago I realized that sometimes I’m an idiot. Tis true.

I was trying to have an enjoyable birthday out on the town with
friends and I realized that I wanted to go to a centralized place in
Indianapolis where my friends and I could go karaoke-ing. So I sent
out emails to a lot of people and made some calls and decided to go to
a place called Claude and Annie’s on 38th St. in Indianapolis. Now for
those who aren’t familiar this area of Indianapolis is not the most
prominent.

Now the other realization that I came to is that I am a small town
caucasion boy. Not that there is a big deal with that but I’m just
setting up the plot.

So me and a few friends walk into this bar and we are the lightest
people there. Again not a big deal but it was shocking to walk in and
realize the demographic of the area. So you know I figure what the
heck and we stayed.

What became even more comical is that as friend after friend came into
the bar the bouncer at the door started asking my friends if they were
with Jason’s birthday party.

We had to wait a really long time for the karaoke to start because of
the NCAA tournament games that were on. But when it started it did not
disappoint. We heard some really great versions of “Careless Whisper”,
“Nobody’s Supposed to be here”, and “Let’s Stay Together”.

Well I finally decided that because all of my friends were too chicken
to get up and karaoke that I’ll be damned if I set this up and I’m not
going to have the guts to karaoke. So I put in my request and a few
songs later my name was called.

For those of you who don’t know me I have a panache for doing a Humpty
Hump impersonation so I decided it would be the right thing to do in
the atmosphere.

So I start getting into the song and people not in my birthday party
are laughing. Probably more at me than with me, they’re probably
wondering what this crazy cracker is doing up here trying to rap. The
funny thing was that by mid-song I had an entourage of big bootied
black women dancing in front of me, yes probably again making fun of
me but that just made me get more into the song. I think the only time
I was uncomfortable in the song is when he says “Black People, do the
Humpty Hump.” I chose to omit that line from my rapping.

I got a decent crowd reaction and sat back down the rest of the night.
I know that a lot of my friends will probably never forget it.

And I don’t even think for me that was the highlight of the night.
When the Puerto Rican guy came out of nowhere to sing “La Bamba” that
was the funniest thing I’d seen in a while.